Friday 28 February 2014

London Calling...(and my thoughts and musings on my year in Italy...Mama mia!)

"...to the faraway towns, now war is declared, and battle come down"



It may not shock many of you to hear that I am moving back to the UK. In 6 weeks. Almost a year to the day after I left the UK to move to Rome. 

After the emotional dust settles after a relationship breakdown, and you find yourself looking at life through normal eyes again, things become clearer, and that's where my decision to move back to the UK came from. I found myself asking "what is actually keeping me here?". Taking the emotion out of it (the wonderful friends I had made/the weather/food/architecture) I had to be logical, and as anyone with any sense will know, good food/weather/architecture doesn't pay the bills. My safety net here was my relationship. Now that is over, there's not much keeping me here. For now. I won't ever rule out returning to Italy in the future; it's a place I have always wanted to live and I will come back. But right now, I need the love, comfort and support of my family and friends, who have all been so supportive of my decisions to leave, and come back. Naturally, my Mum is thrilled, as is my best friend. I know how hard me leaving was on him, so I hope that many nights of drunken fun and watching films in our onesies will make up for it. 

Now I'm back to seeing things as they really are, I can't help but think back to two words I heard a lot when this relationship ended. Many people; family, friends, colleagues, described what had happened as a "lucky escape." I heard this a lot, and I think that when a relationship fails, and you come out of the other side of the heartbreak, you do start to see things for how they really are, and you have to admit, you agree with some of the things people say to you...

Taking off the rose-tinted glasses and removing someone from the pedestal you put them on can be both helpful and hurtful. Everyone has had relationships end where even many years down the line, they can't fault that person - things just didn't work out. Some people walk out and let out one huge sigh of relief. Some people walk away feeling disrespected and undervalued. As I'm sure you might be thinking, no, this is not an ex-bashing post. Look at it as more of a summary. My ex had great qualities, but they were sometimes hard to see beyond other, not-so-agreeable qualites*. Those things most people know about, but when you are all loved up, you choose to ignore, only for them to come back and bite you on the ass later. 

*cultural differences

She probably chewed it for him too! (*joke)


For example, the relationship between Italian men and their mothers is something that is famous the world over. You see it mocked and parodied in English, American even Italian culture. There are TV adverts here that show the impact 'Mama' has on a man's life! Don't get me wrong, I could never be with a guy that disrespected his mother, but for me, I see too often here that the apron strings have not been cut. My ex's mother bought all his socks and pants for him. And no, not just at Christmas, always. He had never bought a single piece of his own underwear in 30 years. Some nights he would come home with a little bag from one of the local underwear shops, because mama had stocked him up. His response? "She knows what I like". Call me strange, but I found it creepy. She would also send him home with little care-packages...usually consisting of juice and biscuits (yes, he had the same breakfast as a 5 year old!). Did I mention she only lived 5 minutes away? My mum lived 1700 miles away and only sent me a care package once! You see so much of this in Italian culture...it's almost famous for it. Many girls I know here (both Italian and non-Italian) find this bond between mama and son infuriating and impossible. One Italian girl I know refuses to have relationships with Italian guys that are still in the nest. And I can understand why. I know, it's a 'cultural difference', but unlike taking a siesta and long, leisurely lunch breaks, I can't see the positives. How can men grow into their own, free-thinking person if they feel incapeable of making a single decision without mama's word on it?

From personal experience, this dependence on mama makes men lack the independence that is so attractive to many people. My ex didn't know how to turn on a washing machine or boil a kettle. Yes, these are symptoms of this 'cultural difference', but how can this be a good thing to a man of 30 years old?? As someone asked me recently, "what future can you have with someone that can't even turn on an oven?"....(yes, really!)? And it's not just me thinking it; this very accurate article from The Guardian covers things in the same way, written by people who have seen the things I have.

Italian mama's are also famous for being neurotic and too involved. I have known of couples here, usually Italian men and English/American women who have had their relationships tested to the max by mama's ways. Every night, my ex's mama would call him to talk about his day. Even if she had only seen him a matter of hours before. And he would always take the call; it didn't matter if we were in the middle of something or out with friends having dinner, that call would not go unanswered. One American girl I know said that her fiance's mama would just come to their apartment, unannounced (she had been given a key by the son!) and would just start cleaning or rearranging things! My ex-future mama in law showed these neurotic tendencies which I could see passed onto her children...she believed that babies would be killed by living in the same house as cats because they would breathe in the cat hair and suffocate, and when I went to hospital after having a car accident, my ex was yelled at for putting my discharge papers on the kitchen table because they had been in a hospital. I mean, seriously? Have you ever heard of anyone contracting a hideous life threatening disease from hospital discharge papers? No, me either. And this neurosis doesn't end with mama, it seems that Italians believe everything will kill you...tap water, fever and the famous cervicale, caused by 'colpa d'aria, which is summed up well by this article written by a Brit living in Bologna. I have been questioned attacked more than once for going out without a scarf in during the winter months.

I can't help but wonder if this reluctance to leave the family nest and mama's apron strings have a negative effect on the relationships Italians have. Before I moved here, my Italian teacher told me (she herself had lived in Italy in her 20's) that you will see lots of Italians comitting the more...intimate parts of their relationships in their cars...that you will see lots of cars parked up in local parcheggio (car parks) where young couples would be, well, at it. And why? Because they all still live at home. I laughed when she told me this, thinking she must be talking about the younger Italians in their late teens. Boy, was I wrong. The Italian guys I knew through my ex would often talk about hooking up with their girl in their car, hell, even my ex told me that in the very car seat I sat in, he shared some of the most intimate parts of his relationship with his ex!!! I mean, how can you have a normal, successful relationship if you are 30 years old, and the only way you can share intimacy with your partner is in a car because you still live at home??

I have been told that Italian men say 'why would I move out when my mama does everything for me here?' This seems to be their argument/justification for remaining at home until well into their 30's. Take for example, my ex. He has an apartment that we used to stay in when I visited before I moved here. He didn't live in it, we just used it when I stayed. He still lived at home despite having a perfectly nice apartment he could have moved into. When we got engaged, we moved into it together. It is now a nice, beautifully furnished (thanks to me and my bank balance!) home and I will bet my life on the fact that as soon as I left, he moved back in with his parents! Why would you do that when you have you own, nice place to live in?? Cultural difference or not, this makes no sense to me. 

Again, this is not an ex-bashing or an Italian-bashing post. Simply an insight to the things I, as a 30 year old English girl have seen and experienced first hand in my year here in Italy. Flip the situation around, and I'm sure Italian guys would have lots to say about living outside of Italy. What I have written in this post is pure observation and fact. There are some young Italian guys I know that have broken the mold; they live alone or with friends, have good jobs and happily buy their own underwear. And I feel certain to say that I'm sure my ex mama in law is delighted to have her son back home. Whilst I am not saying that anyone is right or wrong, you can't really understand cultural differences until you live them. I mean, the UK and the men that live there aren't perfect either, and I certainly don't miss the binge-drinking culture you see in the UK every weekend. But, I do feel completly free to make my comments on the things I have experienced for myself here. And I don't need to justify anything; Italy is still the most beautiful place and the people here are wonderful. It has its flaws, as does everywhere. 

Yes, I am excited about going back to the UK. I never thought I'd say that, but I am. My time in Italy has been an experience, and should I return to live here someday, I know what to expect. Now, I am excited to go back to my family and friends, and see what life back home can offer me. 

Ciao for now,

Nina x

Monday 3 February 2014

Where to relax in Rome

A little pampering goes a long way I believe, and when you need a little bit of 'me' time in Rome, where do you turn?

When I am in need of a little spiritual (and emotional!) boost, there are places in the Eternal City I will always turn to.

Noi Salon
Piazza del Popolo 3
Tel. +39 06 3600 6284
noisalon@alice.it


















I discovered Noi back in May 2013 when my I took my Mum there for a blowdry surprise when she came to visit. I did some research on English speaking, modern salons in Rome, and Noi came up time and time again. Owned by brothers Massimo and Giuseppe, Noi offers modern, luxurious stylings in the centre of Rome. Joined by Rick from California, the team are attentive, skilled and a pleasure to visit. I went for my own re-style last week; I wanted a trim, roots done and my ombre re-done. I was there for 3 hours over lunch and loved every second. Every single stylist makes the effort to talk to you, check up on you and make sure you are happy. The reception staff are welcoming, polite and charming. Price wise, this place is beyond reasonable. If you live in Rome or are just visting and need some hair attaention, VISIT NOI! You will not be disappointed!

Acanto Day Spa
Piazza Rondanini 30
Tel: (+39) 06 68136602
(+39) 06 68300664
info@acantospa.it


















I first visited Acanto last year after I moved to Rome; tired, stressed and a little overwhelmed, I booked into Acanto for a traditional hammam treatment to soothe my senses. Located close to the Pantheon, Acanto is worth visiting purely for the venue alone. Located inside a beautiful, ancient palace, you could convince yourself you have stepped back into a Roman bath from another century. The tranquility of Acanto is second to none; candle light and aromatherapy scents attack the senses in all the right way. The staff are professional and speak good English, and a wide range of well-priced treatments are on offer.

Ciao for now!

Nina x

Sunday 19 January 2014

All Roads Lead (Back) to Rome...

If someone had told me a year ago that I would have left the UK, sold my house, moved into 3 different apartments and be returning to Rome, I would never believe them. 

Last February, I came to Rome for 2 weeks to have a trial of living in Italy, and more importantly, Rome. I rented an apartment in Monti for two weeks from 2nd February, and within a week I had decided that I wanted to make Italy my permanant home. 

I've made no secret of how hard it is to leave your home country and become an ex-pat in another. People that haven't experienced that have no idea of the difficulties and tough emotional times you go through. I found myself missing the strangest things about the UK...BBC London News at 6pm. Sainsburys. Hollyoaks. The talks/rants I would have with my best friend in his kitchen after a night out. Relocating is HARD, no matter how amazing the pull to your new country might be, it's emotionally and physically hard to leave your past one. 

It's been a tough 12 months. It's also been an amazing 12 months. 

So, as I find myself 6 days away from moving back to Monti, and looking how things have gone full circle for me, I think back to something my Mum asked me a few days ago. She asked me where I find my strength from, to manage to go through these things and still remain positive. I really thought hard about this, because it was something I realised I needed the answer to myself. I came to the conclusion that I get through the tough times because life is always a lesson. Learning constantly about yourself and other people is great knowledge to have and it feels good to always learn something new. I'm also a big fan of fresh starts, and that is what I see my new life in Rome as. I am excited to return to vibrancy of the city. To wake and sleep in the presence of such history and architecture. I adore Rome, ever since I did a school project on it when I was 6, I was fascinated by the Eternal City. So, I am happy to close the door on the last 12 months, and open a new one. 

My new apartment is fantastic and I can't wait to live there. It's back in the heart of Monti and will be a great base for the start of this new phase of my new life. I'm excited to create some wonderful memories with my good friends here, and I'm curious about the new friends I will meet along the way. 

Ciao for now

Nina x








Sunday 12 January 2014

Beauty Products: My skincare staples in Italy!

One of the many things I love about Italy is the quality of the products you can buy in the pharmacies (farmacia) here. 

I'm a big fan of a many French beauty companies but their favourite products of mine were never that readily available in the UK. Some were becoming available in stores like Boots when I was leaving last year, but I still haven't seen much of the others. 

So, I thought I'd give you a run down of my favourite finds since moving to Italy. 










 (Reviews below from L-R)





Vichy Idealia Life Serum
I first saw this advertised on TV here and the claim that it can totally change your skin in 8 days got me tempted...the first serum of its kind, it is targeted at normal, everday women, who's skin may be under the influence of daily excesses such as stress, late nights, pollution, UV exposure and an a poor diet. Unlike others I have tried, it has more of a light moisturiser feel to it, and gives the skin a wonder sheen without being shiny or glitterly. I took the 8 day challenge and was so impressed! Highly recommended!!!

Ponds Hydronourishing Cream
Ok, so not French or Italian, but an oldie but a goodie from the UK! I started using this before I moved to Italy and was really impressed with the effects. After I ran out in Rome and couldn't find it here so switched to an alternative. I noticed my skin wasn't looking great, so asked my Mum to send it out to me as part of a care package, and since using it again, my skin shows such a great improvement. I am currently using it under my Vichy Idealia Serum and my make up stays in place all day and my skin has a lovely velvety appearance. 

La Roche Posay Physiological Foaming Water
I have used other cleansers in this range, but this one caught my eye when I was out in Rome one day. Soap and paraben free, it is great for sensitive skin but also has super make up removing power! I sometimes use this alongside my Sephora Exfoliating Disk for a real deep clean. 

La Roche Posay Effaclar Duo
A super-cult product in the beauty world, I turn to this whenever I get a breakout (always stress or TOTM induced) and within a day or two this super-dooper product has wiped out all traces of nasty spotties! I always keep this on standby as I know it works every single time. 


Bioderma Sensibio H20 
A great, fragrance-free make up remover water, this product is by far the best for my skin as it never irritates my skin or eyes. Even after a heavy night out when I may have very dark eyemakeup and eyelash glue remnants to remove, this gets rid od every trace. I try and use it always before I wash my face, so that all make up is removed and my cleanser works on cleansing and not removing make up. 

So, that's the low-down on the skincare products that I use every day here in Italy!

Ciao for now,

Nina x